i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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