"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
