He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
