Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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