He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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