Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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