I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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