She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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