Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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