did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
