i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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