I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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