"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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