I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
