you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
