i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
