Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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