he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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