So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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