why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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