i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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