Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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