So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
