I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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