can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
