Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
