Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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