We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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