you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
