You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
