There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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