Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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