im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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