its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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