and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Barsexuality is the new black.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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