"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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