I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This is classic penis vs brain.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
