Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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