i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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