..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish you could order shots online.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think your dad took our porno
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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