you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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