I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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