I wish I could punch you in the face.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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