My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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