I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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