it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
