Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
