Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
