Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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