pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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