So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
