Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
