She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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