tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize