I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
