yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
