O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
