Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
