I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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