swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize